The tragic events at Canadian Forces Base (CFB) Wainwright in Alberta on October 17 are deeply saddening and understandably upsetting for adults, children, and youth alike. Our thoughts are with those who have been affected, their loved ones, and the broader Canadian Armed Forces community during this difficult time.
We recognize that many members of the Canadian Armed Forces and their families are part of our school communities. Some of our students have parents, caregivers, siblings, or other family members who are currently serving in the military. As a result, this tragedy may feel particularly close to home for some children, youth, and families, even if they do not have a direct connection to those involved.
Events such as this can be difficult for adults to process, and it can be challenging to know how to reassure our children when we ourselves are trying to make sense of what has happened. Children and youth may experience a wide range of emotions in response to what they hear, see, or understand about the tragedy. It is important to remember that they often look to the trusted adults in their lives to help them feel safe, supported, and reassured.
For children and youth with family members serving in the Canadian Armed Forces, news of this nature may also bring forward additional worries about the safety and well-being of their loved ones.
As a parent or caregiver, you may feel uncertain about how best to support your child in understanding and processing these events.
With this in mind, we have outlined some strategies and resources below to help guide conversations with your child, recognizing that individuals will be impacted differently depending on their age, developmental stage, personal experiences, and connection to the tragedy.
Limit exposure to news stories on traditional and social media channels
Consider how you access news and how that may impact children nearby. Young children may not know how to make sense of the information they are seeing or hearing and can quickly become overwhelmed. Encourage older children and youth to rely on reputable news sources and, where possible, limit repeated exposure to upsetting coverage or speculation on social media.
It is also important to talk with children and youth about the potential impact of sharing unverified information, distressing images, or details about those involved. Encourage them to respect the privacy and dignity of affected individuals and families.
Acknowledge feelings
Our children and youth will look to us for cues on how to process upsetting information. Acknowledging our own feelings in a calm and age-appropriate way provides children with a model for expressing and processing their emotions.
It is normal to experience a range of emotions in response to tragic news, including sadness, worry, confusion, fear, or uncertainty.
Reassure children that their feelings are valid and that trusted adults are available to listen and support them.
Listen more than you speak
Listen to your child's concerns before offering explanations. Give them opportunities to share their thoughts, voice their fears, and ask questions.
Begin by asking what they may have heard and what that information means to them. This can help identify misunderstandings or fears that may need gentle clarification.
These conversations can also help you understand whether your child is approaching the situation from a place of curiosity, concern, sadness, or fear.
Some questions parents and caregivers can use include:
- What have you heard about what happened?
- Where did you hear about this?
- How are you feeling about what you've heard?
- Is there anything that is worrying you?
- Are you worried about someone you know or love?
- What questions do you have?
Provide facts and reassurance
Tell the truth, but do so gently and in a manner appropriate to your child's age and developmental stage.
Children need to know that their concerns and questions are being taken seriously and that they can trust the adults in their lives to provide accurate information.
Avoid sharing unnecessary or distressing details. If you do not know the answer to a question, it is okay to say so.
Focus on what is known, avoid speculation, and remind children of the trusted adults and supports available to them.
Maintain routines and a sense of security
Maintaining familiar daily routines can provide children and youth with a sense of stability, comfort, and security during uncertain times.
Accessing additional support
We recognize that some of our students and families may need additional support as they process this tragedy, particularly those with direct or indirect connections to the Canadian Armed Forces community.
If you feel your child would benefit from additional support, please reach out to your child's school. School counsellors and other school-based supports can help students and families navigate difficult emotions and connect with additional resources where needed.
Our Safe Schools team has resources on both guidelines for parents/caregivers helping their children during times of grief and after a traumatic event, as well as supporting challenging conversations: Community Supports & Resources
Additional community and family support resources
- Canadian Forces Morale and Welfare Services: cfmws.ca
- 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 9-8-8 for 24/7 crisis support across Canada.
- BC Mental Health Support: Call 310-6789 (no area code required within BC).
- Crisis Centre BC: crisiscentre.bc.ca
- Canadian Mental Health Association: cmha.ca
- HealthLink BC – Helping Children With Grief: healthlinkbc.ca
- Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre: keltymentalhealth.ca
- Learning Through Loss: learningthroughloss.org
- Foundry BC: foundrybc.ca
- erase – Expect Respect & a Safe Education: erase.gov.bc.ca
Our thoughts remain with all those impacted by this tragedy.