Guidance for Parents and Caregivers: Supporting Children After Tragic Events

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The devastating event at the Lapu Lapu celebrations in Vancouver on Saturday, April 26 is understandably upsetting for adults and children alike. It can be hard to know how to reassure our children when we ourselves are trying to process and make sense of it. Children may experience a wide range of emotions in response to what they hear or see; it is important to remember they will look to the adults in their lives to help them feel safe and to make sense of the world. As a parent or caregiver, you may feel unprepared to help your child understand and process these events. 

In response, we have outlined some strategies and resources below that will help guide your conversations with your child with the understanding that people are going to be impacted in a variety of ways, based on age and development as well as their own involvement and connection to this tragedy.

  • Limit exposure to news stories on traditional and social media channels

Consider how you access news and how that may impact children nearby. Young children may not know how to make sense of news they are seeing and can quickly become overwhelmed. Encourage older children to rely on reputable news sources, and, where possible, limit their consumption and exposure to upsetting coverage. 

It is important to have conversations, and model with your own behaviours, the additional traumatic impact for victims and families when upsetting images are re-circulated. Guidance suggests that individuals do not watch, repost or share videos of the tragedy.

  • Acknowledge feelings

Our children and youth will look to us for cues on how to process upsetting information. Acknowledging our own feelings gives children a model for how to express and process their emotions. It is normal to experience a range of emotions in response to unsettling news. 

It is important to note that the intensity of these feelings are going to be impacted by a family’s personal connection to the event, their history of loss and trauma, and degree of exposure to the traumatic stimuli on social media. 

  • Listen more than you speak

Listen to your child’s concerns before offering any explanations. Give them an opportunity to voice their fears and ask age-appropriate open-ended questions. Ask what they may have heard and what that information means to them. You may uncover misconceptions and unfounded fears that need correcting. These questions will also help you understand if your child is coming from a place of curiosity, concern or fear, and will help you gain a sense of what your child may need from adults to feel safe and supported. 

Ideas that parents can use: 

  • Tell me what you have heard about this.
  • Where did you hear about this? 
  • How are you feeling? 
  • What questions do you have? 
  • Provide facts

Tell the truth but do it gently. Give your child facts as long as it is consistent with their stage of consistent with their stage of development—keep conversations age appropriate. Children need to know their concerns and questions are being taken seriously by the adults around them and that they can trust their adults to be truthful with them. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t be afraid to say so. 

  • Importance of routine

Maintaining daily routines can provide a sense of stability and security for children and adults. It can also be important to give children permission to continue to find and celebrate hope in their daily world. 

  • Encourage empathy and compassion

Remind your child that there may be others in their daily lives who may be impacted by this tragedy. Talk with your child about how we need to treat others with extra compassion and empathy during times like these. Tragedies and times of great sadness and grief can serve as meaningful moments to teach compassion, which can help children feel empowered as they find additional ways to be kind and caring. 

We recognize that some of our students may need additional support. Our Safe Schools team is actively working with several school communities to provide additional support and resources. Be mindful of any changes in your child’s typical behavioural norms. If you feel your child needs additional support, please reach out to your child’s school and/or access the community supports identified below: